Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Stumped Doc
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc that his penis has turned orange.
The doctor looks at it and says, “I haven't ever seen any thing like this before in my entire medical career. What do you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?” The man says no.
The doctor asks the man what he does all day. The man responds, “Nothing.” The doctor is really puzzled now and says, “You can't not do anything. What do you do at home all day?”
The man replies, “Honestly, doc I, don't do anything. I just sit around, watch porno flicks and eat Cheetos.”
Source from : Comedy Central
Why British think 80% of M'sians coming to UK to study law?
UK Immigration Officer: Purpose of visit?
Visitor: I'm here to study law, sir.
Officer: You know, you must have a lot of lawyers in Malaysia .
Visitor: Why do you say that?
Officer: Well, i've been here for a good twenty years, and I'd say 80% of Malaysians I see here say they're here to read law.
Visitor: Oh, really? That's really something i never knew. Hard to believe in fact.
Officer: Just you watch, then. You just stand here until the next Malaysian comes along, and I'll bet he's here to read law.
*Visitor waits for 5 mins, Ah Chong from Malaysia comes to immigration counter*
Officer: Mr. Ah Chong, purpose of visit?
Ah Chong: Study LORRr...
Free Sex Contestants
Two men drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.
"If you win, you're entitled to free sex," said the attendant.
"How do we enter?" asked the first man.
"Well, I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right, you win free sex."
"O.K. I guess 7, " said the first man.
"Sorry, I was thinking of 8," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again"
The next week, the two men returned to the same station to get gas. When they went inside to pay, the second man asked the attendant if the contest was still going on.
"Sure," replied the attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between 1-10, if you guess right. You win free sex."
"2" said the second man
"Sorry, I was thinking of 3," replied the attendant. "Come back soon and try again."
As they walked back to the car, the first man said to the second man,"You know, I'm beginning to think this contest is rigged."
"No way," said the second man. "My wife won twice last week."
LEARNING CURVE ???? Now this IS funny
Three women and three men are travelling by train to the city.
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three
women buy just one ticket.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks
one of the men.
"Watch and learn," answers one of the women.
They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats
but all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
collecting tickets.
He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The
door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after
their trip to the city, they decide to do the same thing on the return
trip, and save some money.
When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip
but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any tickets
at all!
"How are you going to travel without even ONE ticket?" says one perplexed
man.
"Watch and learn," answer the women.
When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a
toilet, and the three women cram into another toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet
and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding.
The woman knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."
I'm still trying to figure out why men ever think they are smarter than
women...
Stumped Doc
A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc that his penis has turned orange.
The doctor looks at it and says, “I haven't ever seen any thing like this before in my entire medical career. What do you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?” The man says no.
The doctor asks the man what he does all day. The man responds, “Nothing.” The doctor is really puzzled now and says, “You can't not do anything. What do you do at home all day?”
The man replies, “Honestly, doc I, don't do anything. I just sit around, watch porno flicks and eat Cheetos.”
Source from : Comedy Central
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